Our friends Paul and Carla are over, visiting in our backyard. This is Ashley,
one of their year-old twin daughters. Its a hot August day, and they’ve come
to play in our inflatable pool. My daughter Sarah and her friend Jasmine are
there, too, eager to play with the “little aliens” – a nickname we’ve given them
for the comical way they walk together, stiff-legged, arms outstretched,
teetering on the edge of balance.
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The apples on our tree aren’t really ready yet, but who can resist watching
a child pluck and eat her first homegrown apple? It seems like a milestone.
One of those wholesome, ‘Betty Crocker’ moments that make parents melt.
The twins are just starting to learn that everything does not necessarily
belong in their mouths. But at last ... here’s something that does! For the
parents, there’s an added bonus: with a mouth full of apple, it’s difficult to
fit in anything else.
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Milestones are of particular interest to parents with children who have special
needs. As “special” parents, we’re trained to watch for milestones in
development. The inability of a child to attain a milestone by a certain age
usually indicates a problem. Many times, I’ve visited friends with young
children and remarked on seeing them achieve certain key milestones.
Most parents are oblivious. To them, those milestones are a matter of course,
and taken for granted. Or they’re a pleasant reminder that their child is growing
up and learning new skills. As it should be.
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Being “special” parents changes our perspective and our sensitivities. Even
about the language we use to describe our experiences. On this hot
afternoon, we’re aware that “special” has a more common meaning: it’s a
special day for Ashley. She has just picked and tasted her first apple.
And none of us take that for granted.
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Mark Heine